I was more than disappointed, I was angry – angry at God for waiting until the very last minute to close a door of opportunity that had opened for me six months prior. I did not go looking for a new career, but when it came knocking on my door, I was intrigued, so I applied. The recruiter said I was a great fit. The interview panel loved me. The hiring officials told me that my skills, leadership style, and expertise were exactly what they needed. Then God closed the door.
After receiving the news, I sat in my car in the parking lot in disbelief. I did not understand why God would allow me to spend so much energy on something that was never His will. Three years prior, I had a vision that God would call me out of my Federal career. When I was approached about the prospect of becoming the Human Resources Director for a local entity, I believed this was the door leading to my calling. The opportunity had risks; to accept meant giving up the security of a 25-year Federal career for the instability of an ‘at-will’ position, and I would have to discard thousands of hours of accumulated annual and sick leave. The workday would be long as would the commute, but I believed God was telling me to go, so I went.
That evening, I took a walk to clear my head. I felt horrible for being angry with God, yet I wasn’t quite ready to talk to Him. As I scuffled along the leaf-covered sidewalk, I felt the Holy Spirit whisper the word ‘obey’ in the breeze, and then the movie Field of Dreams came to mind.
This classic, Kevin Costner fantasy drama about baseball is one of my favorites. The storyline centers around an Iowa farmer named Ray Kinsella who, while walking through his cornfield, hears a voice whisper, “If you build it, he will come.” He sees a vision of a baseball diamond in the cornfield and believes that he is supposed to plow his field and build the diamond. Although he does not understand, he takes a step of faith and builds the field. Throughout the movie, Ray is given messages upon which, he must act before receiving further direction. Ray naturally grows frustrated and angry that his obedience has yet to unveil the purpose behind the field, until one day, it is all revealed. Suddenly, Ray understands – everything makes perfect sense. His faith and obedience to walk through open doors, despite his lack of understanding, was rewarded in the end.
God’s ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8), but He is a kind and loving Father whose plans and purpose for us are good (Jeremiah 29:11). I was reminded of this as I replayed the actions of Ray in my mind. My heart softened and my spirit repented as I realized what God was doing in my own life. He was teaching me about obedience.
Like Ray, I have a calling and a purpose. We both acted upon promptings and walked through opened doors, even though neither of us understood why. Ray and I were willing to sacrifice for what we believed we were being called to do, and we took the leaps of faith necessary to do it. Neither Ray nor I waivered at adversity or listened to the nay-sayers – we plowed on. We obeyed. At the end of the hour and forty-five-minute movie, Ray’s calling and purpose were fulfilled and he reaped the benefits of his unwavering obedience.
I have yet to reach the end of my story. As I pen this blog, my story is still being written, but I know God is pleased. I passed the “Obedience Test”. When the time comes, He knows He can trust me to take another leap of faith, no matter how big or small, He knows I will plow on.
Scripture Readings:
John 13:7 NIV
Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”
Isaiah 1:19 NIV
If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the good things of the land.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Prayer:
Heavenly Father, we come before you with humble hearts. We acknowledge that your ways are higher than our ways, and your wisdom surpasses our understanding. Help us when we find ourselves in situations where we don’t fully grasp Your plan, and we struggle to comprehend Your will for us. Help us to have the faith to obey you, even when the path before us is unclear. Give us the courage to act in accordance with Your will, knowing that You have promised to guide us. Grant us the patience to wait on your perfect timing, even when we desire immediate answers. Amen.
Thank you so much for sharing. I’ve listened, no…pleaded for God to talk to me, to hear His omnipotent voice and guidance. And, I’ve received his mercy and love through His spoken voice to me. At the end of trials, I’ve thanked Him for my unanswered prayers, knowing that the plans He has are good for me and to prosper me. And, His plans have been so much better than my own! The phrase of “Thank God for unanswered prayers” comes to my mind. I am at a time in my career where I am wondering if God wants me stay where I am or if he is getting ready to open a door for me. Based on my past experience, I know I am a walking, talking, breathing manifestation of God’s love, mercy, and both answered and unanswered prayers. So, yes, keep praying and listening out for God’s authoritative and loving voice. He is just saying, “Oh no baby, not yet. I have something better for you! Something above and beyond what you can think, ask, or imagine!” Love and God bless you Vivian! I can’t wait to see what God has for you and your family. Just continue to pray and wait on Him. I’m praying for you too!
Oh, Laura, what beautiful words – thank you for your encouragement! You have such a sweet spirit and I know that God has many wonderful things in store for you as well! “Not yet” can be difficult, but when the time comes, it is always worth the wait. Thank you for sharing!
Viv,
I’m so sorry to hear that you didn’t get the job. But your unwavering faith is so inspirational to me. I love how you can put your faith in God and find the positive outlook in every situation. It just wasn’t meant to be. Or maybe it wasn’t meant to be at this very moment. But whatever the plan is, it will present itself soon enough. Sending my love and hugs.
Thank you Becca! It took me a few days to come around, but I am thankful that God is patient and understanding!
Hello Vivian,
Your plan “The Out Of Balance Believer” was in perfect time for me. Well today I ended here!! “When You Don’t Understand Plow On”! Definitely God’s timing. I have been considering retirement for about 2 years. My full retirement age will be July 2025. Everytime I set a date to leave there would be inadequate staffing or something that would change my mind. After reading your blog I have decided to be still and know, not be anxious and wait on the Lord. He knows the plans that He has for me! Thank you for your obedience in sharing your gift!
Oh my goodness, Patricia! I am so honored that God used the devotional and blog story to speak to you! I love how you are so open to take a step back and listen to what the Holy Spirit is telling you about retirement. It is so noisy out there, isn’t it? So many distractions that try to take our focus off of the only One who has the right answers for our future. I hope you will stay in touch and share what God is doing in your life as you prepare for this next season!